What Your Hands Say About You

What Your Hands Say About You

What’s up everybody? I’m Charlie from Charisma
on Command and today I want to do a breakdown of charismatic gesticulations, specifically,
what to do with your hands because this is one that people don’t realize sabotages you
without you even realizing it. So, I want to start with good examples and
then get to bad, and there’s three specific things to keep in mind. First thing I want
you to do with Chris Evans here is pay attention to how he reveals his palms. So first thing to notice is that his palm
is open and available for the audience to see from the get go, and he continues to do
this. Just a little bit of nuance here, this is not a hard and fast rule, but if you place
your palm out and down, people tend to understand this as more authoritarian, like you’re giving
a command. If you extend your palm out and up, people see this more as a request, like
you are inviting them to do things. In either case, you are better off revealing
your palms than not. From an evolutionary perspective, what this shows people is that
you have nothing to hide. You are not trying to do them harm. This is true across many,
many cultures, so, definitely, keep this in mind. So there is the first run through the clip.
Same clip, what I want you to pay attention to this time is tension in the fingers and
wrists. This is a big no-no. A lot of people have floppy wrists, floppy fingers. If you
have either of those, you actually come across as more flimsy and less in command. So just
pay attention how there is some muscular tension without feeling robotic in the hands
and wrists. Which you’ll notice this tension causes the
fingers will be separate from each other at times or together at times, but it allows
him to pause and not have the wrists just completely collapse under itself. So you’ll
see motions, and then, pauses, because there is muscular tension there. So that might not look too impressive right
now, but I want to go to another clip and you’ll see what a big difference it can make.
This is a bad example of what to do with your hands and you’ll notice right from the get-go we’ve got crossed hands on the lap. So the first thing, pay attention, one, for
no use of like making the palms available, second, for flimsy fingers and wrists, and
then, third tip today is to avoid ticks. You’re gonna see that Jonah has a tick where he
constantly touches his tie. So this isn’t to say that Jonah isn’t telling
that story or making people laugh. We’re actually talking just about hand gesticulations today,
so focus on that, but he has not yet revealed his palms, and he will do very little of that. Another tie touch, I think there’s even one
or two more before the end of this. So pay attention to this, contrast this with Chris
Evans’ very open, available palms and strong fingers to see what Jonah has going on with
his wrist, which is it’s kind of flimsy, kind of just shakes there. You see what’s going on with his fingers?
He had this weird shape going on because there’s not any really muscular tension going on in
his fingers. And his wrist is bent backwards here, again,
it’s great to show your palms, but if your wrist is bent, you actually come across as
more flimsy. Here, he actually does a little bit better. He’s got
some tension going on in his wrist and his fingers. To recap really quick, the things that you
want to take from this video are: one, reveal your palms, whether it’s face up or face down;
two, have some tension in your wrists and in your fingers; and, three, eliminate any
ticks so that you don’t come across as nervous. If you’ve liked this video and I hope you
have, go ahead and subscribe to the channel. We’ve got lots more, everything from eye contact,
gesticulation, story-telling, from people who do it right and people who don’t. So,
I hope that you found this helpful, hope that you subscribe, and I look forward to seeing
you again on the next video.

100 Replies to “What Your Hands Say About You”

  1. Why should we avoid appearing nervous?__Aubrey Plaza appears outwardly nervous in most of her interviews, and it mainly works to her advantage.
    It makes her humor all the more unexpected and makes her stand out from all the other inviewees, with their stiff wrists and swagger.
    People look out for the underdog just as well, Charlie.

  2. i think u can do a full 20 minute video on jimmy fallon and his body language ,fake laugh,and his head hitting the table while he laughs !

  3. I have a very weird tick: I re-tie my shoelaces more often than I should when sitting at a desk. I understand that ticks like this make me appear more nervous and less confident, but I'm having trouble getting rid of it. Do you have any advice as to how to get rid of a tick?

  4. maybe open palm and hand turned up means friendly and open. Maybe not everyone feels the need to be dominating and ' in command' Males need to get a fucking life.

  5. Can you make a video on how to come across genuine? I struggle with that a lot because I tend to pay attention to people's reactions to what I'm saying rather than focusing on my story

  6. I'm seriously loving your channel. I've been binge watching now since I started today. I'm in business so all of your videos helps alot. Of course not only with my career but everything. Thank you! Keep it up. More success to come and more videos! 😀

  7. I may be wrong, but I think it may not be entirely correct to compare the two celebs on only hand gestures. One of the things that we should take into account is the nature of the conversation. While Chris was talking about his family house(a childhood memory), Jonah is talking about a comical situation. I think the conclusion would be better supported if Jonah were talking about an childhood memory rather than just a joke. I agree with the rest of the points you have made, though! I came across your channel a couple of weeks ago and I am hooked to it now. Great job, Charlie! Keep it going!

  8. Thanks so much for this, Charlie. You do awesome work and I undoubtedly appreciate it, but I often find myself wondering how to apply the techniques you share to myself as a woman. Intentional or not, there often seems to be a masculine undertone to the information you share. I would love it if you'd explore how certain things like hand gestures and word choice (and All The Things, really) might differ for those of us who identify with more feminine genders.

  9. I'm just curious where do you get your information from? Years back I read a book called body language a few times… things have developed a long way since then I think

  10. can you tell us about how And why Donald trump always used his hands while speaking… he always does… point giving orders, palms up and down swinging while talking about how rich he is…. I would like to hear what your thoughts are…. especially the one where he throws out the baby…

  11. How can you look at someone's hands? What happens if they make the horned hand symbol? For protection against evil eye. Then you get slapped

  12. "Whats everybody, I'm Charlie from charisma on Command and today…"
    "Whats everybody, I'm Charlie from charisma…"
    "Whats everybody, I'm Charlie…"
    "Whats everybody…"

    Click read more

    Everybody[ev-ree-bod-ee, -buhd-ee] :

    pronoun 1. every person.
    Example "I think I play four or five different men, and everybody was just jumping around like crazy."

  13. I'm just really curious if these celebrities actually think about how they use their hand gestures or even face expressions or body language for that matter when it comes to these interviews.

  14. i once was talking to people in big crowds just before public speaking and i kept putting my hair in a pony tail and touching it while talking to people…..it was the most nervouse ive been ._.

  15. Hands are SO overlooked when it comes to understanding body language. Rule of thumb is to show your palms, but it's actually hard to do this if you aren't used to hand gestures.

  16. God bless you I wish I had this information before . I do everything wrong. I was just about to go out on interviews and I really do so many things wrong

  17. I'm super curious about one fact with about this information: are the rules the same if you are a woman. I actually happen to be one. So I tried to apply all the same rules and as I did this, it felt awkward and masculine. Is this just being uncomfortable trying to apply these particular tools? Or, should the rules be tweaked just a little, because of my feminity?

  18. awesome, thank you for all these videos, your videos really do work and change how I see and do things! 😎

  19. Can you please do a video on your own gesticulation? There is sometihing miraculous in how you use your hands in bringing your point across!!! Thanks in advance, love your breakdowns

  20. I always talk with my hands idk it's the way I think about stuff and the concept of explaining something for example I make motions with my hands to show something going from over here to over there it's hard to explain I just noticed this about myself thinking about something but I do this all the time

  21. I didn’t understand what he meant with the fingers and the wrist and the muscle tension and how it comes across being flimsy … please can someone explain in a better way?

  22. Many people get nervous when speaking and it affects their body language. I always make sure I teach my students proper body language.

  23. This has been really good for highlighting exactly what it is I need to do, but I was thinking if you’re going for the palms up approach then is the softer gesture of the looseness in the wrists and fingers a way of adding to that more nonthreatening persona?

  24. I've read about these hand gestures in a book called "the quick and easy way to effective speaking" by Dale Carnegie. I remember reading that when you you trully believe and know about the topic that you're talking about, these hand gestures would come out naturally. So they said that, for instance, you're going to have a report in class and you studied your topic really well and you're confident about it, the hand gestures would come out naturally. So you don't really have to worry about your hand gestures when speaking. All it takes is confidence and speaking with conviction.

  25. I have to say that Charisma on Command has been a God Sent for me ! Because, even though, I'm well into my adult life, as an introvert, I've never had anyone give such detailed and clear instructions about how to come across in a graceful and relaxed manner. Your videos have helped me(and countless others) feel prepared to handle social situations in a much more competent fashion and I can't thank you enough for that! Keep 'em coming! 🙂

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